sqWiki

G: So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I
was terrified! But I pressed on and as I made my way passed the
breakers a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine
intervention or the kinship of all living things but I tell you Jerry
at that moment I was a marine biologist!

G: The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli!
I got about fifty-feet out and then suddenly the great beast
appeared before me. I tell ya he was ten stories high if he was a
foot. As if sensing my presence he gave out a big bellow. I said,
“Easy big fella!” And then as I watched him struggling I realized
something was obstructing his breathing. From where I was standing
I could see directly into the eye of the great fish!

J: Mammal.
G: Whatever.
K: Well, what did you do next?
G: Then from out of nowhere a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed like a
cork and I found myself on top of him face to face with the blow-hole.
I could barely see from all of the waves crashing down on top of me
but I knew something was there so I reached my hand felt it out and pulled out
the obstruction!

K: Jerry, you stand on the threshold to the magical world of sensual delights that most men dare not dream of!

G: Beautiful women. You know they could get away with murder. You
never see any of them lift anything over three pounds. They get whatever they
want whenever they want it. Nobody can stop them.

J: She's like a beautiful Godzilla.

G: Well, I'm thousands of fleeing Japanese.

KRAMER: I'm in trouble, buddy. I just met a woman.

NEWMAN: Go on.

KRAMER: Well, she's Jerry's girlfriend. Discount Magazines NEWMAN: Ah, yes. Forbidden love.

KRAMER: She works in a book shop. Her name is Pam.

NEWMAN: “Pam.” I don't know the woman, but she sounds quite fetching.

KRAMER: I can't even speak in front of her. <Sits down on the couch.>

NEWMAN: Jerry! What could she possibly see in Jerry? <Walks in front of Kramer and trips over his feet.>

KRAMER: She has delicate beauty.

NEWMAN: Jerry wouldn't know delicate beauty if it bludgeoned him over the head.

KRAMER: And yet, he's my friend.

NEWMAN: And therein lies the tragedy. For I believe, sadly for you, that there is but one woman meant for each of us. One perfect angel for whom we are put on this earth.

KRAMER: Aw, that's beautiful, Newman.

NEWMAN: One winsome tulip we ceaselessly yearn for throughout our dreary, workaday lives! And you, my friend, have found your angel. I can tell. For my heart has also been captured by a breathless beauty - whom I fear I will never possess.

NEWMAN: Don't despair, my friend. <Newman walks in front of Kramer and trips over his feet. Again.> I won't allow your love to go unrequited. Not like mine.

KRAMER: What, again with you?

NEWMAN: Sorry. But love is spice with many tastes. A dizzying array of textures…and moments.

KRAMER: If only I could say things like that around her.

NEWMAN (getting an idea): Yes…

KRAMER: Uh, human. It's…human to be moved by a fragrance.

PAM: That's so true.

KRAMER: Her bouquet cleaved his hardened…

NEWMAN: Shell.

KRAMER: …shell. And fondled his muscled heart. He embibed her glistening spell…just before the other shoe…fell.

PAM: Kramer, that is so lovely.