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• “I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.”
• If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
• No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck.
• Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet. – P.E. Trudeau
• 'Tis the dream of each programmer,
  Before his life is done,
  To write three lines of APL,
  And make the damn things run.
• I told my kids, “Someday, you'll have kids of your own.” One of them said, “So will you.” – Rodney Dangerfield
• You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. – Indira Gandhi
• Secretary's Revenge: Filing almost everything under “the”.